Trusting With All Your Heart

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

I don't know that I ever knew what it meant to trust in God and let go of my fears. To fully let go of myself and trust him. I thought several times in my life I had done just that, until recently I discovered that I've never given him full control. What does giving God full control even look like?

After the divorce was decided, I started looking for comfort in all the wrong places. I thought that if I consume my life with something like more friends, a hobby, a boyfriend, working out, or a sport that would bring me fulfillment. Little did I know that God was waiting in the corner for me the whole time. When I finally let go of myself, it's like he said, "Ah, I've been waiting for you Megan!"

Trusting God like Proverbs 3 describes, means you have to let go of everything you understand and fully rely on God to lead you. My "coming to Jesus" moment, if you will, happened one night this year when I was utterly exhausted of trying to find happiness on my own. I was sitting in bed, in the dark, staring off into space thinking about my life and what I wanted to become. I lifted my hands in the air and said out loud, "I'm done. I'm completely yours, I surrender". Sadly enough, I had never done this ever in my life and meant it 100% without question. I'd like to tell you that I literally felt a burden lifted off of my shoulders, but it wasn't like that for me. It took time, like he was waiting to see if I really meant it, then BAM! God blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine. I found that I don't really stress about much anymore and understand what God meant when he said that worrying about tomorrow is pointless.

God has shown me what He will do for me when I let go of myself. He's shown me that He will provide my most basic needs and then some if I only trust in Him and Him alone! The opportunities that I have sitting in front of me didn't even begin to happen until I let go of myself. Not expecting anything different to happen, God overwhelmed me with love and options. A ton of options, and all of a sudden too. I can't even begin to describe the love I feel from Him falling down on me now. God is amazing all the time. I don't know why it took me 28 years to realize that trusting in Him fully is what He most desires. Now I can take the options that God has blessed me with and start to utilize them while attempting to further His kingdom by what he places in front of me.

I encourage you to look at your life and face your fears. My fear was to not rely on myself. I've always been so independent, but what I realized is that God wants me to be dependent on Him. God is bigger than you and has a much, much BIGGER plan that you ever imagined!

I will stumble, I DO stumble. I do fall. I will make so many more mistakes, I don't want to even think about it, but at the end of the day I have a loving, gracious, amazing God who loves me and wants me. Let go and let God!

Until next time,

Megs