Thankful for God's Grace!

I look back 6 months ago and can't believe how far I have come. Divorce is never easy, and while you might not be dealing with divorce, there are other things that hurt us and cause us to stumble. I can't tell you the number of times I went to pray and had no words to pray with. My prayers began to consist of me stopping in my tracks and saying, "God, you know, help me." When I say it happened often, what I mean to say is that was my prayer for about three months. God did help me in those times. He guided my heart to realize what He had planned for my life. His love, his spirit, and his grace covered me in those times.

I think we often try to convince ourselves that we are not good enough and not worthy to talk to God. The simple fact is, we are. Thankfully, we are carried by God's grace! We will never be "good enough" but grace is the free and unmerited favor of God. It is God's gift of salvation granted to all of us! That is not to say we cannot fall away from grace, but for the humble, those that love God will receive this amazing gift of grace! The key here is the "gift" of grace, it is not earned, it is given! 

God has blessed my life beyond what I could have ever imagined. Yes, I have and still do deal with heartache and struggle through some things relating to my past and divorce, but I now have a different view on the life God has given me. Everything I have and everything I am is because of God's grace and blessings. All the praise and honor goes to Him every second of every day! I am so thankful for the woman I am starting to become because of my relationship with my amazing God! 

I'll leave you with part of a song I sang at church camp as a kid. It still remains true as an adult and gives my heart great joy to think about what the words truly mean....

"I'm all wrapped up, I'm all tied up, I'm all tangled up in Jesus, I'm all wrapped up, tangled up, tied up in God oh yeah!" :)

Have a blessed weekend friends!

Megs

Forgiveness

I'm in a very weird state of mind right now. My brain is active, but my body feels limp. I just forgave the last person that hurt me so incredible bad throughout this whole divorce process. I used to think that you had to forgive someone right after their offense. Time, wisdom, and God have taught me differently. To each person forgiveness will come at different times. How could you put a time frame on forgiveness. As the one who has been hurt, you are dealing with too many emotions, too many memories, too much pain, but one day the time comes to where you can look at it and say, "I'm ready".
Granted, I don't believe one will ever forget the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings of that particularly painful moment(s), but in time, the hurt will be reduced. The only thing that stinks most about these situations happening is that four little word that all of us who have gone through at one point or another hate and the word is "Time". We must be patient and learn about ourselves, trust in God, and fall to our knees in pain and suffering before the "time" comes that we can see how we have grown stronger and learn to forgive.

Myth: Forgiveness is easy. Hello!? It's the hardest thing of them all. However, it must be done. Where would I be if Christ had not died on the cross for my forgiveness? If he can die for me, a woman who sins every single day against Him, then who am I not to forgive those that have done wrong against me. It is hard, it is painful, but one can only pull the trigger and learn to forgive once they truly mean it. No taking it back once it is given. No hard feelings once it is given. The pain will remain and dissipate over time, but the joy to know you have forgiven that person and that their actions no longer haunt your very soul is victory enough.

God has granted me the peace and understanding not of my life, but of his presence in my life. His hand leads me and wherever he goes, that is where I want to be.

Megs

It's a marathon, not a sprint!

At some point in our life, and maybe even often, we go through trials that seem impossible to overcome. Have you ever looked back at your life and thought about some of those hardships you've gone through and seen how you grew, and how you overcame that hardship? Isn't it amazing how that incident seemed to reshape who you are? Did you come out a better person? Did you come out the same person, but able to take away a valuable lesson? I don't think there is one time I did not learn something from a difficult situation. 

Romans 5:3-5 reads: "And not only that, but we GLORY in TRIBULATION, knowing that tribulation produces PERSEVERANCE; and perseverance, CHARACTER: and character, HOPE. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

The dictionary describes perseverance as steady persistence in a course of action. Unfortunately, there is no time set for perseverance, it is just steady persistence for "x" amount of time which can totally stink! So many times I have wished for it to hurry up and be over with, but that wasn't in God's plan, He was still working on building my character.  

My character is built by being persistent in every situation. I am building my own moral qualities and growing closer to God in the process. Persistence takes prayer, and a lot of it. Some days I don't know how I can stand another hour, and other days I am just fine with the situation that I am in at that time. Pray, pray, pray!  As hard as the situation might be, and as long as it may take, I know that I am shaping who I am by how I am handling myself. 

Hope. What is hope and why do I need it? Hope is the feeling that what I want can be had, or that a certain situation will turn out for the best. I think the bigger question here, is what am I hoping for? Is my hope in vain? Am I hoping for the impossible? Am I hoping for worldly things? Do I hope to build a lasting, fulfilling relationship with God? 

I like what Paul writes here about hope. Why does he say that hope does not disappoint? We have all hoped for something and not had things turn out how we "hoped" they would, so why would Paul say that hope does not disappoint? I like what he says to follow hope not disappointing: "because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts." Through my relationship with God, I know that I will not be disappointed. I have prayed for many things over this past year and  a lot of the answers that I have had to wait for have been "No". Why would God tell me no if Paul says that hope does not disappoint? Right now in my life, hope does not disappoint because I don't know what the future holds, but I know that God does, and he is directing my path towards that amazing journey. That journey is going to be better than I can imagine, and if he gives me everything I think is good for my life, I might miss the greatest adventure of them all!

While I'm not entirely sure what it is, I know that God has a plan for me. So I will persevere, I will build a strong character, I will hope, and I will NOT be disappointed! :) 

Have a great week! 

Megs

Fleas of Life

My house was recently infested with fleas which consisted of paranoia, three scratching dogs, endless baths, and spraying everything that is visible to the eye with flea spray. I found myself getting so mad at these little fleas that were seemingly taking over my house and my thoughts.

This led me to think about the fleas of my own life. The little things in life that aren't necessarily always visible, but seem to annoy me and cause me to itch with emotion. Are these "fleas" the devil trying to pick and bite at me? I tend to think so. I wish the little things didn't bother me, but they do. Or at least I think they are little; maybe they aren't, but who's to say?

What gets rid of these fleas? What allows me to focus on what is important instead of being bit? I'm almost certain you can come up with a biblical analogy with everything, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of thinking of this. Hello?? How do you think you get rid of fleas?!? Diving into a giant bottle of flea spray of course, which in this case is unmistakably the word of God.
It has come to my attention that fleas are all around us. The only way to rid them is to stay focused on God and ask for his help throughout the big and small things.

I could sulk and ask myself why things have happened the way they have in my life. Why do I have chronic back pain? Why did my husband leave me and not want to work things out? Why am I afraid of success? Why do I quit too early at things I know I could succeed at? Why is my family not close anymore? There are countless questions we all want to ask and we all want to know the answers to, but I'm afraid we never will know all the answers to why things happen. The important thing is that we don't let the fleas overtake us and we lean on God for comfort when there are no answers.

Again, God has been a constant in my life, and only when you truly realize this and embrace it, can you experience freedom.

If it weren't for my past, I would have very little to offer. I will offer you these last words before I call it a night. I hope you have your flea repellant on hand and always turn to God for answers and for peace.

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present."

-From a presentation at Downtown Church of Christ

Desires of your Heart

I was recently telling a new friend about how I have been completely engulfed in Christ and how amazed I was at the blessings He has been bestowing upon me just by trusting in Him. She reminded me of a very important scripture that has proven to be very relevant in my life as of late.

 It is Psalm 37:4 which reads:

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

When she reminded me of this scripture, I was amazed by it because I never really knew the meaning of it until recently. God has given me the desires of my heart in a big way. I never wanted to get divorced, but now that it has happened, I didn't think life could go on. "What would I do now that I am completely alone?" I thought to myself. When I was filling myself with worldly things, I was trying to fill an emptiness I felt. An emptiness so unbearable I could hardly stand it. Little did I know that God could fill my cup, fill my loneliness with His love and His Spirit. I'm alone, but not alone! I am full of Christ and drained of myself and it gives you a joy that is hard to describe!! :)

I wish I could explain how I feel better than this post, but I challenge you. I challenge you to seek comfort in God. I know that there are those out there just like me, feeling alone and lost even if you try and "fake" being "great" on the outside to your friends and family. The loneliness can be so unbearable at times, so I know how you feel and I know the things you do to try and fill that loneliness. I pray that you will seek God's guidance and search your heart to let him completely in! The reward is far greater than you can even imagine!!

I still don't have internet, so I'm on sissy's computer, but I just had to share this! God is so good and His love will NEVER fail you! When people fail you, God won't! He will never leave you! What an amazing God we serve! :)

Until next time,

Megs

Much ado about nothing

Moved into my house Sunday! It still looks like a tornado hit it, and then came back and hit it again, but there is some progress being made! I got the gas turned on today finally...heat is always a good thing when it's 27 degrees in the morning here. Space heaters have saved my life since Monday!

I'm so thankful for everyone's help this past week! I couldn't have done it without all of you chipping in. I'm so blessed and so very thankful for the love and support that you have all shown me over the past 8 months. A big thank you goes to my parents! Mom came to pack up my house in neat and tidy boxes while dad helped load and drove the uhaul and trailer so I didn't have to.

A special thank you to my sis, Hannah Beth, and her friends for helping unload the truck! I can't wait for you to move in with me this fall! It's gonna be so much fun! :)

Can't wait to get my internet set up! I can live without tv, but internet...now that's a different story! Long moving week still ahead, but I will catch up on here later!

Thank you everyone for reading this blog! Remember, God is good, and He is there for you today, tomorrow, and the next! He will NEVER leave you!

Until next time,

Megs

Listening to God through tears

Last night I was a mess! Having to say goodbye to the life you have lived for the past seven years.Having to say goodbye to your husband for the last time, and having to say goodbye to those who were there for you through the roughest times throughout it all. I remember packing boxes upstairs in my closet. I was listening to my iTunes and tears, tears, tears just kept streaming down my face. I'd only felt like this one other time in my life and that was when the divorce was decided. They were tears of sadness, happiness, and being scared of what the future holds. I trust God completely, and I rejoice that he has made me human to feel the way I feel about certain situations, but it is very hard. While I could not stop crying, I text a dear, dear friend of mine, told her how much my heart hurt and this is what she text me back, word for word:

"You have what it takes Megan!!! You were CREATED with everything you need to handle all this messiness with grace...It's not something the Lord has to give you...He already put it inside you. All the strength, all the hope, and all the trust that you will ever need.  You CAN do this! :) and when it hurts so bad...That's okay. It shows that your heart is beautiful . Because only the most beautiful hearts can hurt so much and come out loving on the other side." 

WOW! First of all, I have amazing friends who help build me up and I'm forever thankful for that. While her words were so encouraging, I still couldn't swing this overwhelming sadness. I asked God, what do I need to pray for? I simply asked for peace. "Give my heart peace", I said. I remember getting distracted by something, then a burden was lifted off of me. It's literally like God said, "You are hurting and rightfully so, but I am here, and I will hold you until the pain goes away." Until recently, I never knew God could speak so clearly to me! I believe He has been speaking to me this whole time, I just haven't been listening. While the sadness is still there, God keeps reminding me of the future he has in store for me. How can I not be excited about that?!?

I encourage you to listen to God. Shut down the TV  put away your iPhone,iPad, and iPod, hide away from the family and listen. God is speaking to all of us and He has amazing things to say, we only need to listen!

Until next time,

Megs