The Dishwasher Story-Asking for help.

Sometimes women forget that men are not mind readers. For some reason we drum up this thought that men have superhero mind reading talent, and that just isn't the case. The Dishwasher Story is only one example and in no way applies to every woman or every relationship. Your thought for the day, enjoy.

Joan loved being a newlywed housewife. She took on the household chores that were deemed to be the "woman's duty" and she took delight in them. She enjoyed her new role as a wife and loved taking care of her husband at home.
Joan did the dishes every night for 3 years. In her 4th year of marriage, out of the blue, she exploded into a fiery ball of wrath, lashing out at her husband with verbal abuse. She resented the fact that she had, for the last 4 years of  her marriage, always done the dishes and not once had her husband offered to help or assume the responsibility. I ask you one question: WHY on earth would she get mad at her husband for her own shortcomings the past 4 years of never asking him for help? After all, he saw from the very beginning that she took delight in doing these household chores, why would he want to take that away from her if he thought that is what made her feel helpful, useful, and fulfilled?

As women, we tend to assume that help will be offered to us if the person really loves us or cares about us and "sees" us struggling with it. On the contrary, we should be serving those around us with a willing heart, expecting nothing in return. Otherwise, it is not truly a servant's attitude and we are only just fooling ourselves. If you wanted help, at any point (ever) with the dishes all these years, why didn't you just ask? Why do we as humans assume so much when all we really need to do is open our mouths and ask for help? What is it about human nature that makes us think the other person is just taking advantage of us and in our mind we create a world where we think they don't really care about us at all?

I'm not saying that the husband should never offer to help with the dishes or any other household chore, I'm arguing the case that most of us will automatically assume their spouse can read their mind and know exactly what the other is thinking and what they want them to do. This is our first mistake! SPEAK to each other in an honorable, respectful way if you would like assistance with something, with anything. Never ASSUME anyone knows what you want.

Does this mean you have to be stuck in this rut forever? What if you've gone the past 20 years without asking for help when that is what you desire the most? Is it to late for you? Absolutely not! It might be weird and awkward at first if you have never asked for help, but I'm here to tell you, that those who truly love you and care about you will help you when asked. All you have to do is ASK.